For Tennis Parents by a Tennis Parent

As I sit at my kitchen counter typing this piece, my son is flying home from California. He’s been out there since Thursday taking “official visits” at two universities. Wanna know what I’ve heard from him since he left?

Yep, that’s the extent of my communication with my son since I dropped him off at the Atlanta airport early Thursday morning.

All weekend, I’ve been in kind of a funk. Nothing specific was wrong with me – I wasn’t feeling sick per se – but something was off. I really didn’t feel like doing anything even though there was plenty of stuff around my house that could use my attention. I watched too much tv (that Davis Cup final was pretty amazing, right?), ate too much junk food, drank too much caffeine, and got absolutely zero physical activity. None of this is my usual MO.

As I started trying to figure out the why behind my lack of energy and enthusiasm, it came to me. I was dealing with a slight case of depression. The reality of my son leaving home next Fall was starting to sink in. The reality of being an “empty-nester” was in my face. This was the first time he had visited a college without me. He was meeting the coaches, meeting the team, feeling out the campus on his own, without his Mom Barometer present. And, I have to be honest, it made me feel more than a little sad.

At the same time, it made me feel proud. Because I realized he’s taking all those phenomenal life lessons that tennis has taught him and applying them in the real world in a way that really matters to him.

My husband and I have always told our son that the college decision was his to make, that we would support him whichever school he chose. It’s easy to say that when you’re there with him during the visits, pointing out the positives and negatives you see, because you feel like you can influence that decision.

But, when he’s there on his own, having to recognize the positives and negatives by himself, it feels scarier somehow. What if he doesn’t see the things I would see? What if he doesn’t ask the questions I would ask?

So what?!? He’s seeing the things HE needs to see and asking the questions HE needs to ask because this is a decision that will affect HIM over these next 4 years. Not ME. HIM.

When he gets off the plane tonight, I will do my best to resist the urge to pepper him with questions. Instead, I will keep quiet and let him share his experience as he sees fit in his own time. I promise you this will not be easy for me. Not. At. All. But I will do it.

I will do it because I trust my son. I will do it because I respect his ability to figure this thing out and his wisdom to ask for my help if or when he needs it. I will do it because, starting next Fall, my son will be in college, probably far away from Atlanta, and I have to start getting used to that idea. Sigh.