Sometimes You Just Need A Break

After playing 3 tough tournaments over the past 5 weekends – with 4 back-to-back tourneys looming ahead on the schedule – my son got sick.  Nothing serious, mind you, but just the kind of exhaustion-inspired viral junk that makes you feel like garbage.  It came on slowly at first but then hit like gangbusters the day before we were supposed to leave for the ITF event in South Carolina.  He begged me to call the doctor for an antibiotic in hopes that he could feel good enough by the next day to go to the ITF and perform well.  I urged him to super-hydrate, eat well, and visit the chiropractor in a last-ditch, non-antibiotic, effort to get him feeling better.  He skipped the meds, took my suggestions, but was still feeling lousy the next morning, so we made a joint decision to bag the ITF and take the weekend off.

It was the absolute right decision.  My son was exhausted, physically and mentally, from all the travel and competition.  He needed a break, and so did I.  He took four days off from tennis, four days off from physical activity of any kind, and just rested.  And rested.  And rested.

By Monday, he was feeling pretty much back to normal.

I don’t think I’ve mentioned this before, but my son is taking PE this semester.  And, because of his “Minimum Day” school schedule, he takes PE during Zero Period aka 7:10am.  Twice a week, Mondays and Thursdays, his class has to do a 1.5 mile run.  He headed off to school Monday DREADING that run!

When he came home that afternoon to have lunch before heading off to drills, he told me that the run was “rough” – that every joint in his body was sore after doing nothing physically for four straight days.  He also told me that drills were going to be “rough,” too.  And, they were.

He only hit for about 90 minutes, much less time than normal for a Monday afternoon.  Afterward, he told me that it was definitely as tough as he anticipated.  I reminded him that his body needed the break.  I reminded him that the first day back on the court is always a little dicey.  I reminded him that he would feel stronger tomorrow.

And he did.  And I suspect that he will be just fine by the next tournament – mentally and physically ready to compete.  Sometimes you just need a break.

Hug Your Kids

In the past week, I have learned of two families dealing with devastating issues involving their teenage sons:  one a tennis family, the other a football family.  In both cases, the issue surfaced seemingly from nowhere to turn the families upside down and inside out.  The road to recovery will be long for both of them.  It will involve anger, frustration, perseverance, and, above all, belief.  My heart is breaking for both of them.

First the football story . . . At a prominent private school here in Atlanta, a 17-year-old member of the high school’s varsity football team was arrested and is being held without bail for sexually assaulting a classmate in the gym shower.  He is from a “good” family.  I have friends who are friends with his parents – they are just like the rest of us, doing the best job they can at this parenting thing.  Their son, in the company of some teammates, made a grave – GRAVE – error in judgement.  The victim is going to be okay physically, but may never recover emotionally.  According to our local newspaper, the charge against this young man is one of the more serious criminal offenses under Georgia law, one of the so-called “seven deadly sins” for which there is no parole unless the sentence is life.  A conviction carries a punishment of 25 years to life in prison.  In other words, if convicted – and even if NOT convicted – this young man’s life as he knows it is over.  This incident will follow him and his family the rest of their lives.

And the tennis story . . . In Tennessee, a 17-year-old 5-Star high school senior who had recently committed to play at the University of Tennessee next year was diagnosed with Ewings Sarcoma, a rare form of bone cancer.  He had been complaining of back pain, and once it got too severe to tolerate, was admitted to the hospital for testing.  Sadly, the tests confirmed that he had cancer.  His first course of chemotherapy is underway and will last 29 weeks.  Thanks to the power of social media, his story has been shared and his family is receiving support from all over the world.  His mom reported that he got a signed autographed picture of Andy Roddick from Babolat that is hanging above his bed, reminding him of how important the “grind game” will be.  He is literally now fighting for his life.

I share these stories with you not because I’m trying to scare you but because sometimes we all need a reminder to hug our kids.  To appreciate them.  To shower them with love.  To support their goals and dreams.  To laugh with them.  To cry with them.  To tell them how much we love them.

Life is short.  Tragedy can strike at any time.  We have to savor our time with our children, giving them a foundation of strength.  Just.  In.  Case.

As the mother of the Tennessee boy shared on the family’s CaringBridge page, “Even though I have moaned and groaned over the years about the time, energy and $ we have spent on junior tennis, Sean will totally reap the rewards of this experience now.   He will have to have goals, overcome adversity, learn to be coached (the Dr.’s), be mentally strong, and fight his pants off…all the while staying positive.  So, I am now totally grateful of our tennis experience and wouldn’t change it for the world.  The life skills learned in junior tennis will prove to be invaluable.”

Please join me in sending prayers, healing thoughts, and positive energy to these two families.  Both are battling.  Both will continue to battle for quite some time.  There, but for the grace of God . . .

Please.  Don’t forget to hug your kids.

Growth & Development

My son is at an interesting place in terms of his tennis development.  As I’ve mentioned, he’s now playing up in the 18s even though he could still play another year in the 16s.  But, because of his July birthday, and because of his goal to play at Kalamazoo (which is the first week of August) next summer, he had to start working on his 18s ranking a year early.  That means he is often 2 years younger than his opponent, 2 years behind developmentally-speaking, 2 years behind growth-wise, and 2 years behind in the maturation process.

His goal during tournaments is still to win matches, of course, because he needs to get his 18s ranking to a place where he has a chance of getting into the National Hardcourts.  And, to that end, we look for tournaments for him to play where (A) he can get in and (B) he can, hopefully, win a few matches.

However, he also has another, equally (more?) important, goal:  to gauge his skill on the court against boys who are already playing the big national events and who are heading off to top college programs next year.  He needs to be able to see in black and white how his game holds up against more experienced players.  He needs to see where his strengths lie and where he still needs work.  He needs to see what specific developmental steps he has to take over the next 2+ years.

We were at a Southern Level 3 tournament in Hilton Head this past weekend.  First round, my son had the opportunity to play the 1 seed, a young man who recently committed to play at Clemson next Fall.  After the match, which my son lost 1 and 4, we all went to lunch together – my son, his opponent, his opponent’s dad, my husband, and me – and the boys talked about their match and about playing college tennis.  My son asked the young man for an honest evaluation of the match, and the young man told him that he made him work much harder than he anticipated and that my son is way ahead of where he was as a 10th grader.  I could see the smile peeking out from behind my son’s eyes!  Then, much to my surprise, my son asked his opponent if he would mention my son to the Clemson coach in hopes that the coach would take a look at him.  The boys went on to discuss the recruiting process and the things my son needs to be doing this year to get the ball rolling.  Mind you, it wasn’t anything that I haven’t been telling him for the past several months, but you know how it is with teenagers – they often don’t hear it until it comes from a peer!

The next morning, my son played another high school senior in his 2nd backdraw match and won.  It was a great boost confidence-wise for him to see that he had the goods to claim a victory over a solid player two years older and 124 ranking spots ahead of him.

Even though my son wasn’t playing his best tennis during the tournament, he found a way to eke out strong victories over two very experienced players and earn those precious ranking points.  He had the privilege of playing against someone heading off to the same post-junior-tennis life my son hopes to have and of putting his skills to a real test.  Developmentally, my son is still two years behind these guys – he still has two years to figure it out – but he needs to keep testing himself against these older players to monitor his progress.  As he has more opportunities to play these high-level guys at USTA, ITF, and ITA events, he’ll be able to keep a running tally of where he’s making strides and where he still needs work.  He and his coach will keep tweaking the training plan to help my son get where he wants to go.  And my husband and I will keep being the supportive Tennis Parents.